Amireal ([info]amireal) wrote,
@ 2008-05-22 07:09:00
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Current mood: contemplative
Entry tags:links

Links does a body good?
1. Post rec: Monogamy and sex by [info]raqs. This post rants about a specific article in New York Magazine. The article is-- just about everything that's wrong between men and women in today's world. [info]raqs takes it apart and nails it for what it is:

I was partly appalled by the article because I hope to God most men out there aren't like this author: desperately looking for an excuse to cheat. I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone's going to ride to your rescue saying that it's just a natural unavoidable biological drive, and if they did say it, I don't think most people are going to buy it.

It also was so clear to me that there's a burden on these women to put out, but very little interest in reciprocating in any way. If these women aren't interested in having sex with their husbands any more, WHY IS THAT? Is that entirely the women's fault? How *can* it be?


There's also a couple of very interesting links in the comments. Thinky thoughts.

2. Link rec: What Chicks Don't Like About Science Fiction - Before you run away, this article basically says "Chicks don't like it when other people tell them what they don't like." It's one of those reads that's refreshing because it articulates a rant I didn't even know I had in me.

OK, so let me get this straight. A woman (Bonnie Hammer, quoted above) ran the Sci Fi Channel for several years. Octavia Butler (yes, a woman) won a MacArthur genius grant for her science fiction novels, and many of the editors at scifi mega-publisher Tor are women. All of io9's editors are women. A woman (hi Bonniegrrl!) runs StarWars.com. But women aren't interested in science fiction? You need to drain the spaceships out of BSG to attract women? (Though apparently you also attract women with spaceships, as Taken demonstrated.)


3. *snubs*

4. Who doesn't want a fun plushy of their favorite internal organ? A perfect companion to the much loved germ plushies. I'm not a mom, but I have a bad feeling I'd get a sick sort of amusement out of handing one of these to a child of mine and then walking out into the unsuspecting puplic.

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[info]marlarose
2008-05-22 12:04 pm UTC (link)
I want a plush womb!!! But why is it pink? Can't a girl get a blue womb? Or maybe a yellow womb? Geez...

About #1, I can't stand that argument. It's a matter of morals, as much as I hate that word usually. Men who say "well, the wife didn't hop into bed last night and f&^% me, so I'm going to go find a prostitute" are just jerks and deserve what they get. If their wives don't want sex - find out why. Maybe you're really bad in bed. When was the last time you got her off, one way or another? These "monogamy goes against nature" losers are just whiny assholes who can't be bothered to please their wives sexually. Trust me, if they did, they wouldn't need to go look elsewhere. And yeah, I get the "variety" argument, but seriously, if you're wife is into it, buy her a wig, play games, mix it up.
If you're not getting any, you're doing something wrong when you are.

of course, then there are messed up women (and men, btw) who use sex as a weapon against their spouses/partners and give the rest of us a bad rap, but if your spouse is emotionally abusive, get a divorce. Cheating is for losers.

(Reply to this)

[info]deadlychameleon
2008-05-22 12:23 pm UTC (link)
It also was so clear to me that there's a burden on these women to put out, but very little interest in reciprocating in any way. If these women aren't interested in having sex with their husbands any more, WHY IS THAT? Is that entirely the women's fault? How *can* it be?

True, though I think he does mention that women also look outside marriage, just very quietly. I think the ugly fact that men like to ignore is that maybe they aren't as attractive or sexually interesting to women at 50 as they were at 30.

Honestly, I've been in three long term relationships (over a year), and while I believe that love can last forever, I increasingly think that an entirely monogamous relationship that lasts 30 years is something of a pipe dream. This is not to say that it does not happen for some people, just that it can be difficult, and probably goes contrary to a lot of people, if not most people's wants and desires.

“Relatively large numbers of married men and women indicate using the Internet for sexual purposes … but the impact of this on marriages has, as yet, not received much research attention.”

And this is an interesting point, because there are a lot of married women in slash fandom. Has slash become a sexual outlet for married women?

I don't deny I find the tone and a lot of the commentary in this article to be pretty offensive. However, I agree with some of the points - I tend to agree that most folks aren't wired to *want* to be sexually monogamous for decades at a time. Whether they do it or should do it is another question entirely.

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[info]libitina
2008-05-22 12:52 pm UTC (link)
I already have a much cuter plush kidney. It was a promotion for some diabetes drug and the guy manning the booth wasn't supposed to give them away, but my mother and I spent so much time coveting the kidney that he gave it to us on the sly.

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[info]jade_dragoness
2008-05-22 02:10 pm UTC (link)
*eyes the organ plushies*

It says bad things about me that I really want the Gallbladder plush, mostly because I had mine removed due to gallstones last year. And I'd really like to be able to do this to random people: "I'm missing an internal organ. I had my gallbladder removed. And it's right here!" *pulls out plush Gallbladder and cackles*

*is dreamy at the idea of the freaked out reactions I'd get*

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[info]thevirtualjim
2008-05-22 02:37 pm UTC (link)
It really bugs me that most people find polyamoury horrible/disgusting, yet more than helf of men and women are fine with cheating on their 'monogamous' partner.

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[info]sobelle
2008-05-22 08:05 pm UTC (link)
From personal experience? I think men are looking for sex or "strange" but that it's almost secondary. I think that a lot of men are looking for personal, i.e. selfish, satisfaction. and don't really want to reciprocate. and they don't want to have to listen to a woman asking "what about me?"

Verging on TMI? when my ex (of 25 years) left me. family and friends couldn't understand why he did it. saying things like "you're a beautiful (their opinion), smart (yes), talented woman (yes), the mother of his 2 sons" and "he left you for an unattractive, boring, alcoholic woman?"

He did. but what he likes about her? is that she worships him and thinks he's a god. even though he won't take her anywhere because she embarrasses him.

go figure.

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