Today's "wow, are you stupid" moment: When someone hands you two prescriptions at the same time, written at the same time, it is not up to you, mr. pharmacy person, to summarily decide which one to fill just because it is not a NORMAL DOSE of a very strictly controlled FDA drug and therefore cannot just be written as 15mg but must be written as 5mg and 10mg, perhaps you should CALL SOMEONE, not completely inconvenience me on the freaking fourth of July.

I have an usual prescription of a sleep aid. I know I do. But really. What goes on when you decide to just ignore one of the CAREFULLY CRAFTED BITS OF PAPER MEANT TO AVOID DRUG ABUSE instead of maybe checking on it?

Now to double check I can split the 10mg without dire consequences and to see if the USPS and my complex (which I usually have quite nice thoughts about) actually only has 1 mailbox within the entire square block, outside of the complex. Of 8 buildings.

/grumpy whine

Then off to enjoy the quaterless, 24 hour laundry rooms. For lo, I need some brightening. (also, possibly cupcakes!)

...even with some vaguely noisy neighbors.


24 hours laundry rooms begin THIS WEEK. MADE OF WIN.

Writing update:

Fandom: SPN
Word Count: 8000 (OMG YAY!) I think we're about 3k away from the first POV shift. I think. Maybe.
Highlight: Shenanigans all around! Our main characters have made decisions! At least two of them! Also, the other half of my ship has been mentioned more than twice! Progress!

Author's feelings: Need icons that appropriately express my Castiel (and Misha Collins) adoration. Must pay attention to icon posts. Also, is it bad that I only have vague ideas about how this ends?

How do you feel?

I don't know.

Why are you here?

I don't know.

Why do you do that?

I don't know.

The above is not a failure to communicate so much as a willingness to admit that I just didn't know.

Casual readers of my LJ have probably caught onto an ongoing problem of some sorts, medications vaguely (or not so vaguely) mentioned, long silent periods, struggles to do things that seem simple, regaining energy for skills I once had an abundance of, etc. More avid readers and well to be frank, those of you with flock access know a bit more.

[This is not a universal pathology to depression. My experiences are not everyone's but they are, I have noted, not singular either. I hope in writing this out I not only help myself, but others in some small way.]


( Cut for length and discussion of my own personal issues with depression and my feelings about it at large. )

*looks out the window*

*builds an ark*

What's a cubit? /old joke.

Since my grand total of knowledge = what, Starsky and Hutch, Due South, Supernatural and maybe The Sentinel (possibly Star Trek) has taught me about good old fashioned American Muscle cars.

Anyone out there willing to discuss some possibilities with me? For you know, the sake of fanfiction? And so I don't have to wiki myself to death?

*bats lashes*

Please?

(yes seperis YOU WIN. But I expect that banking treatise in my inbox by Friday. *sulks*)

4200 words, they have finally made decisions! I am proud of them!

So I'm still writing. This is a big deal. I don't feel forced or choppy, I don't feel too tired to get even a sentence out. I'd say the new meds are good meds. For now. Later, a longer post about depression.

For now I'd like to say that it's kind of awesome. I'm nowhere near the wordcounts per day I used to do, but I think that's a matter of stamina and time. I'm at 3500 words for under a week which is better than I've done in years (with about one exception) and I still feel like I'll finish this fic. (IN LIKE A YEAR, 100,000 WORDS LATER BECAUSE THIS IS ME AND APPARENTLY I CAN ONLY DO EPIC.)

My cheerleaders are awesome and I think I owe some of you new bits. Poke me if you want 'em.

So yeah. this is my writing update post:

Fandom: SPN (I know, I know. Just. Bear with me. Okay?)
Word count: 3500/ 20000??
Highlight: OH MY GOD NOW THEY ARE LOOKING AT MAPS. THE EXCITEMENT. I CANNOT BEAR IT. NEXT: BUS TICKETS. OR MAYBE A CUP OF COFFEE. WHO KNOWS, IT'S JUST THE WAY I ROLL. (...kill me...)


*crawls away to stare at google maps in the name of research*

I was awake when you came UPS. I WAS TOTALLY AWAKE. Now I have to wait till monday? If this is because of my damn buzzer, which has NEVER been a problem before, I am gonna cut someone.